How do YOU deal with negative people in YOUR life?

Negative people, do you have them in your life? What makes them negative to you? Do they complain a lot? Are they victims of their life and always talking about it? Is nothing ever good enough for them? Do they complain about you? Are you the reason for their misery and problems?

How Do You Deal With Negative People?I’ve read countless times how we should get rid of the negative people in our lives, that getting rid of them will allow positive people to appear. Hmmmmm.

Regardless of any advice from self-help gurus, what about the negative person that we see in the mirror every morning? Do you know the one I’m talking about? The one that doesn’t want to get out of bed and certainly doesn’t want to go to work. The one who procrastinates then beats us up later in the day for not getting things done. The one that tells us that eating some ice cream or potato chips will surely make us feel better then berates us for not having an self control and calls us a failure. The one that ultimately tells us we are not attractive, not smart enough, not worthy and definitely not lovable.

Why would we allow this negative person to be in our life if we are so keen on getting rid of negativity in our lives? I’d love to know what you think about this, and, if you have any methods you use to get rid of negativity in your life…both in yourself and in others. How do you do with negativity?

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Sandra Champlain is the author of the #1 international bestseller, We Don’t Die – A Skeptic’s Discovery of Life After Death and How to Survive Grief CD. She is the co-founder of We Care Grief Support helping others through loss back into life. See the documentary made about Sandra and her mission called We Don’t Die – Documenting a Skeptic’s Discovery of Life After Death.

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Don’t Be Afraid to Start Over. You Can Do It This Very Moment, Too.

November 29th. Thanksgiving is over. Too much turkey, pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes still linger in the stomach and rapidly approaching the hips. Or, you may not celebrate our US holiday but are still thinking about what you should have done about this or what you shouldn’t have done about that. Whether the pants are tight or the wallet is empty, we often don’t like our life as it is. It is uncomfortable but a familiar place. We blame ourselves for what we have and we don’t have. It sucks!

Screen shot 2013-11-29 at 8.25.19 AMHowever, what we most often forget is that we can press the “start over” button at any time. We don’t have to wait to January 1st to make a new resolution, we don’t have to wait til tomorrow starts a new day. We can choose right now, in this moment, to declare our last game as over and our new one can begin.

So, wherever you are at, right in this very moment, think about just one thing you want. Forget the past and realize that you are in the most perfect moment of time. You are a powerful person and truly ANYTHING is possible in the future. Take a deep breath, grab a piece of paper or open a blank page on your computer. Give gratitude for whatever it is, right now, even though you don’t have it yet in your life. BELIEVE THAT YOU DO and continue to write until you FEEL like you already have it, then feel that feeling as long as you can. Even if that means continuing to write about it.

Our minds won’t want to play this game, by the way. It’ll remind you that you aren’t smart, this won’t work, you’re not good enough, etc. Let me ask you, if you have negative friends in your life, what do you normally do with them? You try not to spend much time with them, right? That voice in your head just put aside, it is not the voice of truth.

Your thoughts cause feelings and your feelings cause an invisible creation process to begin. Look at the things you have around you right now. Good or bad, is it possible that you stewed on certain thoughts and feelings long enough that you have these things in your life?

You have nothing to lose by trying this and all you have to gain is feeling good. Who wants to play with me now? Lets take 5 or 10 minutes and write. I’m going first!!

-Sandra

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Sandra Champlain is the author of the #1 international bestseller, We Don’t Die – A Skeptic’s Discovery of Life After Death and How to Survive Grief CD. She is the co-founder of We Care Grief Support helping others through loss back into life. See the documentary made about Sandra and her mission called We Don’t Die – Documenting a Skeptic’s Discovery of Life After Death.

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Life is a Great and Wondrous Mystery

“Life is a great and wondrous mystery, and the only thing we know that we have for sure is what is right here right now. Don’t miss it.” – Leo Buscaglia

Screen shot 2013-11-27 at 8.25.06 AMI opened to a random page of a book and saw this quote. Wow. It is very interesting how our minds work, isn’t it? We always seem to be looking to the future or dwelling in things that happened in the past. Today, the day before Thanksgiving I am thinking about all the things I have left undone, and how I’m going to get everything done before hitting the road to be with my mom tomorrow. Plus, I’m thinking about all the things I should have done yesterday and blaming myself for procrastinating so much.

However, around me is a whole world to be explored and savored in this very moment. I have a cup of coffee right here: warms me up, I enjoy the flavor…where did the beans come from? Whose hands made the cup that I am holding?

Right now I am sitting on my couch cuddled under a blanket. I can hear cars going by and lots and lots of raindrops hitting the roof of my house. I often feel so alone yet the world is filled with 7 billion others who may feel the same way.

The keyboard beneath my fingertips is soft to the touch. I have a laptop and it isn’t connected to any wires or anything at all. How in the world do my thoughts send signals to my fingers effortlessly and I can magically send you words for your to read through your eyes? And your brain translates these images into meanings and thoughts and emotions arise. We may have never met and now you automatically start looking around your environment to see and experience things you may have never thought of before. Cool, isn’t it?

The world is a mystery, that is for sure. I know we all have responsibilities and things to get done, however, when we take a few minutes to just stop and see the miraculous in things and wonder about them…that’s when true inspiration can occur.  If you are anything like me, your mind is very busy throughout the day and sleep at night is the peace we look forward to, when we can shut it all off. Taking this moment to just be present, can do the same thing.

There’s nowhere to be, no place to get for just one or two moments. Slow it all down and reflect. Your mind is probably on auto pilot and not wanting to do this, but oh does it feel good. With a peaceful mind we can take a fresh look and see what is in front of us, what is really important to do and maybe even stay in the present moment while doing them…and enjoy them, rather than racing through to get to the next one.

I’m no master in this, by the way. Just as human as you are. But it’s the art of catching ourselves and then getting back on the right track, that leads to mastery. Having peace of mind, more time than not, would be a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Thank you for taking the moment to be still with me.

-Sandra

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Sandra Champlain is the author of the #1 international bestseller, We Don’t Die – A Skeptic’s Discovery of Life After Death and How to Survive Grief CD. She is the co-founder of We Care Grief Support helping others through loss back into life. See the documentary made about Sandra and her mission called We Don’t Die – Documenting a Skeptic’s Discovery of Life After Death.

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Set a Place Setting for Your Loved Ones Who Have Passed On

Screen shot 2013-11-26 at 8.56.22 AMI want to tell you a story a new friend just told me and I encourage you to let what it means sink in:

She and her mom were avid fans of the medium, John Edwards tv show. They had a fun promise to each other that whoever died first would contact the other through John Edwards, although they never had seen or met him.

Unexpectedly, her mom was diagnosed with brain tumor and given only 3 months to live. She and her dad were devastated when the mom passed away.

John Edwards came to town and daughter decided to attend. The father (who didn’t believe in mediums) went with his daughter because he didn’t want her to be alone.

With an audience of over 1,000 John Edwards began the show and said “There is a mother who is very loud who wants to go first.” John moved his way through the audience and began to speak to the father and daughter.

He told specifics that only the daughter would know and that validated to her that Mom was really there. Then, John turned to the dad and said “She is by your side, she saw you with Little Bo Peep and his staff by the river.”

The father began to cry and laugh. He had gone for a walk along a river and sat at a park bench in the city they lived in. Out of the blue, a MAN dressed like Little Bo Peep with a staff sat on the park bench next to him and began to hit on him! No one was around, no one saw this and the man knew in that instant that his wife was not gone, she was just invisible.

Their anniversary came and he bought two tickets to the opera, which was her favorite thing to do. He also got a table for two at their favorite restaurant and walked in alone to both the restaurant and the opera, sat next to the empty seat but knew his wife was there in spirit.

Being the author of “We Don’t Die – A Skeptic’s Discovery of Life After Death” I get to hear these stories a lot. Often from people who have NEVER told the story before, because we are scared people will think we are crazy if we believe in life after death.

Life after death is REAL. Your loved one is not gone, you just cannot see them. This holiday season, please celebrate with them. They can see you, hear you, and when you quiet your mind, you can actually listen to them. I created the Reconnections audio just for that purpose if you want to use it: http://www.wedontdie.com/reconnections.html

Our minds want to convince us that we are alone, that they are gone and cause us to suffer. How can we believe our mind when so often it tells us “you’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, you’re not pretty, you don’t matter” and all the negative self-talk we have.

I know it is HARD but please don’t believe what you mind tells you, unless it is POSITIVE. You are more powerful than you know and your loved ones are not gone.

Try to create a holiday season different from what most people have. I know there will still be tears and we miss our loved ones physical presence…I know the pain first hand and it hurts terribly. But there is so much evidence that they are not gone, just invisible. You will see them again.

Your friend,
Sandra Champlain

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Surviving the Holidays When You Are Grieving

The holiday season is awful when we have lost a loved one. How do we make it through? I found the excellent article to share with you from griefshare.org

Surviving the Holidays

Survival Tips for Handling the Holidays

When I was a child, the holidays were an elaborate event. My nana prepared an exceptional menu of meats, fish, pastas and pastries that would make angels salivate. Cousins, aunts and uncles, godparents and various other people filled the house with boisterous talking, bellowing laughter and an occasional argument. Nana’s girlfriends spoke only Italian, and they smelled a little odd. But their pinch to your cheek or bone-crunching hug only added to the fun … The holidays were never quite the same without my nana.

For those experiencing a loss, October through December can be excruciatingly painful months. Death, separation, divorce, illness, family trauma, job loss or moving to a new location result in great losses that make the holidays difficult.

Therefore, here are a few practical tips.

  • PREPARE – The ambush of emotions can attack at any time; prepare beforehand.
  • ACCEPT the difficulty of this time of year and your loss. Remind yourself that it’s a season and it will pass.
  • SOCIALIZE – Don’t hibernate. Insecure feelings may tempt you to isolate, but force yourself to go out even if it’s only for a short time.
  • LOWER your expectations – Movies and songs paint an unrealistic picture of the holidays.
  • DON’T ANESTHETIZE the pain with drugs or alcohol – Numbing emotional distress with chemicals creates more depression.
  • TRIMMING – If old ornaments or trimmings cause too much pain, don’t hang them this year. Put them aside for another time.
  • GET UP AND MOVE – Take care of your physical well-being. Healthy foods will give you strength; fattening and sugar-filled foods can worsen your depression. Exercise produces natural stress reducers.
  • SHOP online if going to the mall is too stressful.
  • COPING STRATEGY – Have the phone number of your counselor, pastor, church, close friend or hotline already taped to your phone. Make the commitment to call someone if negative thoughts get fierce.
  • LIGHT – Get some sunshine. Winter can take its toll on your emotions by the loss of sun you experience.
  • INVITE a new (same-sex) friend to see a movie, have dinner or help decorate the house.
  • SET BOUNDARIES – Precisely explain to your family and friends what you are capable of doing this year, and what you aren’t. Don’t let others guilt you into taking on more than you can handle.
  • REACH OTHERS by discovering people who might be alone during the holidays.

by Laura Petherbridge

© 2007 Cook Communications Ministries. When Your Marriage Dies by Laura Petherbridge. Used with permission.
All rights reserved. To learn more about the author or to contact her directly: www.laurapetherbridge.com.

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Need Grief Support – we are only a website away now!

My dear friend, Angie Cartwright and I just launched an online grief support site. Below is the transcript of our conversation video from our launch page:

WECARE-3

Hi, I’m Angie Cartwright. Founder of Grief the Unspoken and National Grief Awareness Day.

And I’m Sandra Champlain, author of #1 international, best-seller “We Don’t Die – A Skeptic’s Discovery of Life After Death” and the audio “How to Survive Grief” –  Together, Angie and I are the creators of “WE CARE GRIEF SUPPORT an all-encompassing community that focuses on your healing.

A problem we all have to face is grief.  When you experience a significant loss in your life, your world turns upside down.  We are never prepared for it and ask “Why did this have to happen?” We find ourselves wondering, “Why do I hurt so bad?” and, “How long will I feel this way?” Ultimately we ask, “ Will my life ever be the same?”
Sandra and I know first hand what a broken heart feels like. It feels like our life is over.  Grief brings with it incredible darkness and sadness. It touches every aspect of our lives. Our relationships suffer…we find ourselves arguing with those closest to us. We can’t sleep, we cannot stop our minds from thinking about our loss, we replay conversations in our mind over and over and over again.  We cannot concentrate at work. We are often angry,  sad and just want to be alone.

Angie and I have learned through our own experiences, our education and our training THAT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.  By learning exactly what grief is, how it effects our minds and our bodies, and having a system to move through your grief with people that care about you & support you, your pain can be eased. Together we can start to bring healing into your life. We are not offering a “cure” or promising that grief release is “easy,” we know first hand that there is nothing easy about grief. But we do know that our system works. It gives you “time off” from the pain, gives you hope, gives you comfort, gives you understanding and even some smiles and laughter. Together we’ll help you release the pain of grief and get you back into life. Angie and I have experienced deep grief and we care about you and know we can make a difference in your life RIGHT NOW.

Most people are all alone in their grief and never even think of asking for help!
Unfortunately, we cannot avoid grief or run away from the pain. We all know people who have lost a loved one and may be stuck in grief for years and years. We know of people who haven’t talked to a relative in years or may have even ended their life because of grief.

Did you know that grief is actually a chemical process in our brain? The longer we grieve, the longer we form a habit for grieving in our minds. It is not our fault. However, understanding exactly what grief is and how it impacts our brains and bodies there are some tools to restore the balance in your brain and ease the pain. Our homework to release the grief and the tools inside the WE CARE membership site REALLY DO HELP. You are not on your own here. We will be with you every step of the way.

This is Sandra and I want to tell you a little about one of my experiences with grief. My dad had cancer and I spent the last 5 months of his life by his side. It was the most painful experience I’ve ever felt. Not only did dad die, but my siblings and I started arguing so bad that we no longer spoke. I couldn’t see them or their children. I was grieving the loss of all of them too. I was in the darkest, most depressed place of my life. I didn’t believe I could continue living. Now, I don’t know where it came from but I had the idea to investigate GRIEF. I’m normally a happy person, not the sad, angry person I had become. What I learned about grief changed my life. So I created an audio called How To Survive Grief, to help others that I posted on the internet. It went viral. Within months, I had people writing me telling me from all over the world telling me how much my information eased their pain, helped their relationships and even prevented suicide!

At that point I knew I had to do more. I decided to write a book and include the information I knew about grief. I wanted to get to everyone I could. I knew that ‘fear of dying’ is mankind’s biggest fear. I had secretly been studying “life after death” and looking for evidence that life after death is real for 15 years. I courageously approached a publisher who didn’t think I was crazy. Within a year my book “We Don’t Die – A Skeptic’s Discovery of Life After Death” was published. My grief information is in the book to teach people who might not recognize they are grieving. I also give all my life after death proof as well as tools to live a powerful life while we here on earth. We Don’t Die has hit #1 top grief book on Amazon and has ranked #4 top motivational book too! I’ve now been on FOX & NBC Television, interviewed on radio and newspapers and am doing Barnes & Noble book signings. Who would have EVER thought that the best thing that has happened to me in my life had to come from the most painful event in my life.

This is Angie.

In 1996 I was involved in a horrific accident with my husband he was killed instantly. I had huge survivors guilt. I was unable to bath or eat. I had horrific nightmares, and was not functioning at any level. I did nothing for my grief. My treatment was alcohol and medication. I ended up in the hospital several times and felt suicidal for years.

This nightmare went on until 2003 where I began my healing journey. In that time span my grief intensified and I had no relief. I could push it away for awhile but it always came back. I thought I was just depressed.

In 2010 when we lost our mother to a drug overdose I was back in the grief world. Shaken to my very core. After some time with some of the fog lifted I knew I couldn’t live like this for ten more years. I started to do my grief work and have felt better and better everyday.

Today I know action is the key to healing. After all that time grieving my husband I was worse, way worse. Nothing had changed on my insides. My heart was still broken. As I tell you this,  it has been three years since the loss of our loving mother. I set her with gratitude, a deep gratitude.

I am so grateful I got the help. My family has a new Angie back. I still cry at times for my mother. I experience sad days. but that is normal. We will always miss our loved ones. But the difference for me today is I’m not stuck there. I get out of bed and have passion, and purpose in my life.

Grief work is not easy. There were days I wasn’t sure I could do it, or if it was even working. As I look back the changes were subtle. I began to leave the house a little more. I began to not sob all day, I could actually have moments of a hopeful future.

One day at a time sometimes one second at a time it was working. I stayed close to those who were guiding me, and when I wanted to back out they were there to pick me up again. Honesty, being open to new ideas, and willingness were the keys.

I could of never guessed that three years ago out of pain I would go on to started a small closed grief group of Facebook called Grief The Unspoken.. Now we are over 50 thousand. This last August was our first ever National Grief Awareness Day! Everything I wanted to change and see happen for those who are grieving is happening as we speak. I never thought it would be my life’s work. I am forever grateful.
Do you know why winners win in their sports? Because they have studied the rules of the game, they each have a coach and they practice. Could you imagine training to win a marathon without knowing how far you have to run or what kind of sneakers to wear? What if you didn’t know about nutrition and rest and strength training? What if you didn’t know you had to build up to running 26.2 miles? Could you imagine waking up one day and trying to run a marathon if you have never done it before? You might not get far, you might think of yourself as a failure and never try it again. We need to learn the rules of any game we play. The same holds true for grief. There is a way through it. However, we need the rules, we need the practices and we need a coach that can stay by our side until we get the result we want. Angie and are your coaches. We will give you everything we’ve got so you “win” and not only release your grief but and have a great life.

We Care Grief Support is a private membership site, like a private club. In it you will find:
• Education about Grief – what it is and why we must all go through it
• The Grief Release Course – a 10 assignment system to work through your grief
• Tools to Ease the Pain of Grief – there are many to choose from
• Conference Calls – each call we will teach a certain thing for you to use in your life RIGHT NOW and we will personally answer your questions. We record every call so you don’t have to be live on the call if you are busy or working.
• Holiday Support and advice – We know how difficult it is to make it through the holidays
• Questions, Answers and Advice: You can ask us anything. There are other members who have learned some things that can help us all.
• Forum Discussions – here you can write a tribute to a loved one, share some inspiration or talk about what is in your heart with other members.
• Bonus Gifts – well, they are bonuses for a reason, so we can’t tell you what they are! They are nice things that will get your mind off grief and and help you live your life. We are certain you’ll like them.

To access the site, you will use your email address and private password to enter.  It is easy to navigate and click on all the things Angie just mentioned. There are LOTS of places to post your questions, comments and get involved. We are constantly adding new content and will always keep you updated.

YOU CAN CANCEL AT ANYTIME. We also give you a full 30 day money back guarantee. If for any reason you are not satisfied with our program, let us know and we’ll refund your payment, no questions asked.

We know getting help and training can be expensive. We can easily spend hundreds of dollars on books and easily $75 dollar an hour or more for a one-on-one session with a grief coach. We often don’t read the books we’ve bought, and stop getting the help and comfort we need because we cannot afford the price. One agreement Sandra and I both made with each other is that WE CARE GRIEF SUPPORT will be affordably priced so you can get the help you need without worrying about the price.

After joining our site you will become part of OUR FAMILY. The family that loves you unconditionally and that cares about you and does not judge you. We will stay by your side as long as it takes for you to have the quality of life that you want to have. We are here to listen to you, coach you and now, with the help of the computer and cell phone technology, you can assess us at any time, from anywhere in the world that you are. You can sign in at anytime and ask a question, see a video to calm your mind, get a bit of inspiration or listen to a past training call. We promise, it sure does help to not be alone and have a community that really cares about you. In fact, it is proven that some of the most successful people in the world succeeded because they were part of a like-minded community.

When you join us, we are going to send you a ‘thank you’ gift. Remember that grief audio Sandra mentioned? There has also been a documentary made about Sandra’s journey from skeptic to believer in life after death. We’ll send you both the How to Survive Grief CD and the We Don’t Die DVD in the mail as our gift to you. We know they will make a big difference in the healing process.

If you scroll down you can see two options to join. You can either pay a monthly membership fee or a we offer one yearly time fee at a greatly reduced discount.  It’s completely your choice. Remember, there are no strings attached to this offer. Just let us know within 30 days if you are not completely satisfied and we’ll give you a full refund. No questions asked. We truly are here to help you and we want you to be 100% satisfied.

Sometimes the hardest part of a journey is taking that first step. WE want you to have everything we’ve got so you can have more freedom, less pain, some new friends and maybe even a little fun. We really do care about you and promise that WE CARE GRIEF SUPPORT will make a huge difference in your life.

So please, GET STARTED TODAY at www.wecaregriefsupport.com

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